the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
