Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
