I'm so fucking centered right now
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
