Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
