The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
