Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
