But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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