You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Your cock deserves a montage
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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