i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i would punch a child for taco bell
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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