I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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