im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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