Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I booty called her while she was in labor.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
