You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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