I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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