This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize