WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
