I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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