So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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