I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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