Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
