do herpes really smell.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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