Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize