I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
