do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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