Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
