do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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