I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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