I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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