he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
third nipple confirmed
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
