He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
