There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
