It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
