so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
