my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
