they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
