you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
