Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
