I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
