your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
are you so shy because you have an std?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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