dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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