so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
