i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
