So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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