I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
