and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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