i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
