But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
