C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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