even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
