Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
