What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
