I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
