What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize