how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There r osticjed everywhere
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Randomize
