Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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