I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
