I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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