So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
should my penis look like a turkey
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You can't just leave with hair like that
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
