People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
