That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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