Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
