That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
