how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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