sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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