I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
