im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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