Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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