Jerry, you need to find god
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize